Recurrent Miscarriages: A Gynaecologist’s Personal Journey Through Pregnancy Loss
- anam ghani
- 5 days ago
- 5 min read
As a gynaecologist, I have helped many women through miscarriages.
I thought I understood their pain.
Until one day, I found myself on the other side of the ultrasound screen — waiting to hear a heartbeat that never came.
That moment changed everything.
In medical textbooks, miscarriage is described in numbers and percentages. We talk about causes, investigations, and treatment protocols. But what the textbooks don’t teach you is the quiet grief that follows. The empty feeling when a pregnancy that once brought so much hope suddenly ends. And the emotional weight of wondering if it will happen again.
For me, it didn’t happen just once.
It happened three times.
The First Loss: Shock
The first miscarriage felt unreal.
As doctors, we know that miscarriages are common. We counsel our patients about it all the time. About 10–15% of pregnancies end in miscarriage.
But when it happens to you, statistics suddenly feel meaningless.
All I could think was: "Why did this happen?"
Was it something I ate? Something I did? Something I didn’t do?
The mind looks for answers, even when there are none.
The Second Loss: Fear
When I conceived again, hope returned — but this time it was mixed with fear.
Every ultrasound appointment felt like an exam result. Every small cramp felt threatening.
And when the second miscarriage happened, something inside me changed.
The joy of pregnancy was replaced with anxiety.
This time the grief was heavier, because it carried the weight of two losses and growing uncertainty.
The Third Loss: The Breaking Point
The third miscarriage was the hardest.
Not just because of the loss — but because of the emotional exhaustion.
People often don't know what to say.
Some say:
“You can try again.”
“At least it happened early.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
But none of these words ease the quiet heartbreak that follows pregnancy loss.
What many people don’t realize is that miscarriage is not just a medical event — it is a deeply emotional one.
It carries grief, guilt, anger, and sometimes even loneliness.
The Silent Struggle of Recurrent Miscarriages
Recurrent pregnancy loss (RPL) is usually defined as two or more consecutive miscarriages.
For couples going through this, the journey can feel incredibly isolating.
Common causes may include:
• Chromosomal abnormalities
• Hormonal issues (thyroid problems, PCOS)
• Uterine abnormalities
• Autoimmune conditions like antiphospholipid syndrome
• Blood clotting disorders
But the most frustrating part?
In nearly 50% of cases, no clear cause is found.
And that uncertainty can be incredibly difficult to accept.
What Helped Me Through This Time
Healing didn’t happen overnight.
But a few things made the journey easier:
✨ Allowing myself to grieve Loss deserves acknowledgement.
✨ Talking about it Silence makes the pain heavier.
✨ Seeking the right medical evaluation Understanding possible causes can guide treatment.
✨ Remembering that miscarriage is not your fault
This last one is perhaps the hardest for many women to believe.
To Every Woman Going Through This
If you have experienced a miscarriage — or several — please know this:
You are not alone.
Your grief is valid.
Your body has not failed you.
And your story is not over.
Why I Share My Story
As a gynaecologist, I see many women going through pregnancy loss.
And every time I sit with them, I understand their pain a little more deeply.
Because I have been there too.
This experience has changed the way I practice medicine.
It has taught me that sometimes the most powerful thing a doctor can offer is not just treatment — but compassion and understanding.
A Message of Hope
Many women with recurrent miscarriages do go on to have successful pregnancies with proper evaluation and care.
If you are struggling with recurrent pregnancy loss, please seek medical guidance.
There are answers. There are treatments. And there is hope.
With compassion,
Dr. Anam Ghani
Dr. Anam’s Women Health Clinic
Frequently Asked Questions About Recurrent Miscarriages
What is considered recurrent miscarriage?
Recurrent miscarriage, also called recurrent pregnancy loss (RPL), is usually defined as two or more consecutive pregnancy losses before 20 weeks of pregnancy. Couples who experience repeated miscarriages should seek medical evaluation to identify possible underlying causes.
What are the most common causes of recurrent miscarriage?
Recurrent miscarriages can occur due to several medical reasons, including:
Chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo
Hormonal problems such as thyroid disorders or PCOS
Uterine abnormalities (septum, fibroids, adhesions)
Autoimmune conditions like antiphospholipid syndrome
Blood clotting disorders (thrombophilia)
However, in many cases no clear cause is found, which can be frustrating for couples.
After how many miscarriages should you see a doctor?
It is recommended to seek medical evaluation after two consecutive miscarriages. Early assessment can help identify treatable conditions and improve the chances of a healthy pregnancy in the future.
Can women with recurrent miscarriages have a successful pregnancy?
Yes. Many women who experience recurrent miscarriages go on to have healthy pregnancies, especially with proper medical evaluation, treatment, and close monitoring during pregnancy.
What tests are done for recurrent miscarriage?
Doctors may recommend several investigations, including:
Genetic testing (karyotype)
Thyroid function tests
Antiphospholipid antibody testing
Ultrasound or hysteroscopy to evaluate the uterus
Blood tests for clotting disorders
The exact tests depend on each individual’s medical history.
Is miscarriage caused by stress or daily activities?
In most cases, miscarriage is not caused by stress, exercise, travel, or routine activities. Early pregnancy loss often happens due to chromosomal abnormalities that cannot be prevented.
How long should you wait to try again after a miscarriage?
Physically, many women can try to conceive again after one normal menstrual cycle, but the timing should also depend on emotional readiness and medical advice from a doctor.
Can a woman have 3 miscarriages and still have a successful pregnancy?
Many women with recurrent miscarriages end up having successful pregnancies. Even in cases where no clear cause is found, studies show that many couples eventually achieve a healthy pregnancy with supportive care and close monitoring.
Is recurrent miscarriage my fault?
No. In most cases, recurrent miscarriage is not caused by anything a woman did or did not do. Many early pregnancy losses occur due to chromosomal abnormalities that cannot be prevented.
Women often blame themselves and wonder if stress, exercise, travel, or something they ate caused the miscarriage. In reality, these everyday activities are rarely the reason for pregnancy loss.
If you have experienced recurrent miscarriages, it is important to remember that you are not to blame, and medical evaluation can help identify possible causes and guide treatment.
How common are recurrent miscarriages?
Miscarriage itself is relatively common and occurs in about 10–15% of pregnancies. However, recurrent miscarriage — defined as two or more consecutive pregnancy losses — is less common and affects around 1–2% of couples trying to conceive.
Although the experience can feel incredibly isolating, many women and couples go through similar journeys and eventually achieve a successful pregnancy with the right care and support.
When should I seek medical help for repeated miscarriages?
Doctors generally recommend seeking medical evaluation after two consecutive miscarriages, especially if the losses occurred early in pregnancy.
A detailed assessment may include blood tests, genetic testing, and imaging of the uterus to look for possible causes. Early evaluation allows doctors to identify treatable conditions and plan supportive care for future pregnancies.
If you have experienced multiple miscarriages, speaking to a gynaecologist can help you understand the possible reasons and the steps that may improve the chances of a healthy pregnancy.
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